I logged into an old email that I haven't used since we break up yesterday and saw an old email from him that I haven't read yet. This was an email send during the break up and the words were just hurtful. He said, "Move on, our relationship was never that great." I spent two years with the guy and gave him my best. I cooked, cleaned, and took care of him from A to Z. But I that wasn't enough. I was never good enough for him, he's also criticizing me. Two years of my life, to hear him respond with, the relationship was never that great.
I feel like someone just rips my heart out, threw it on the floor and is still stomping on it. I don't know when I'll have the ability to forget him, move on and be happy again. I haven't been happy in so long. Our break up was long and hard. I just want the ability to be able to hear a dumb joke and laugh again. I need to recover. I'm not sure where to start and how.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Double Simian
This is a little explanation on a what a simian line is...
If you have this as well, feel free to share.
Simian Line is when you have only 2 major lines on your hand instead of three. Instead of having a heart line and a headline you have only one line. This means that the energy of the heart (feelings) and the head (thoughts) are fused.
If you have this marker in your hand, know that you are blessed with tremendous powers that other people don't have.
If you have a double Simian then you are a very rare bird indeed. Your talents are multiplied. But, the penalty for not using your gift is also multiplied.
The more conscious you are, the more likely you are to be in the positive side of this marker.
What are my gifts as a Simian?
Know that you are blessed with gifts of extremism, intensity and stamina.
This is a tremendous gift. Hone it!
How?
1. Get very clear about what youwant because you have been given far more power than others to achieve your goals.When you want something you want it with your heart and mind.
2. Be conscious rather than unconscious aboutyour gift and its shadow side (feeling misunderstood). The more conscious you are, the more you can turn this gift into a positive resource rather than a handicap.
3. Make sure you have a worthy project or career upon which you can focus your intensity or you’ll start lighting fires in all the wrong places.
Your hurdles:
1.Other people can't keep up. Be more tolerant andunderstanding of this. Try not to judge others for not keeping up with you.
2. You always do a lot more than others. Same as above; be gentle on others for not having your gift. You will always do more because you can do more. Love this about yourself but also learn to manage your energy and set clear boundaries so that you don't burn out.
3. Your energy is either on or off. All or nothing. People around you might see you as inflexible and may not support you as a result. Seek their support through mutual respect of each other's needs. Try to be conscious of when you are taking an extreme view.
4. Feeling and being misunderstood (the black box syndrome). Communication in both directions tends to get scrambled. Ask for feedback, double check communication if you think people have misunderstood you.
Typical examples:
a. Your intensity comes across as anger or frustration
b. people give their opinion and you hear it as criticism
c. You may come across as cold and aloof when you think you are being considerate
If you have this as well, feel free to share.
Simian Line is when you have only 2 major lines on your hand instead of three. Instead of having a heart line and a headline you have only one line. This means that the energy of the heart (feelings) and the head (thoughts) are fused.
If you have this marker in your hand, know that you are blessed with tremendous powers that other people don't have.
If you have a double Simian then you are a very rare bird indeed. Your talents are multiplied. But, the penalty for not using your gift is also multiplied.
The more conscious you are, the more likely you are to be in the positive side of this marker.
What are my gifts as a Simian?
Know that you are blessed with gifts of extremism, intensity and stamina.
This is a tremendous gift. Hone it!
How?
1. Get very clear about what youwant because you have been given far more power than others to achieve your goals.When you want something you want it with your heart and mind.
2. Be conscious rather than unconscious aboutyour gift and its shadow side (feeling misunderstood). The more conscious you are, the more you can turn this gift into a positive resource rather than a handicap.
3. Make sure you have a worthy project or career upon which you can focus your intensity or you’ll start lighting fires in all the wrong places.
Your hurdles:
1.Other people can't keep up. Be more tolerant andunderstanding of this. Try not to judge others for not keeping up with you.
2. You always do a lot more than others. Same as above; be gentle on others for not having your gift. You will always do more because you can do more. Love this about yourself but also learn to manage your energy and set clear boundaries so that you don't burn out.
3. Your energy is either on or off. All or nothing. People around you might see you as inflexible and may not support you as a result. Seek their support through mutual respect of each other's needs. Try to be conscious of when you are taking an extreme view.
4. Feeling and being misunderstood (the black box syndrome). Communication in both directions tends to get scrambled. Ask for feedback, double check communication if you think people have misunderstood you.
Typical examples:
a. Your intensity comes across as anger or frustration
b. people give their opinion and you hear it as criticism
c. You may come across as cold and aloof when you think you are being considerate
Break Up
I once heard, "Lovers will be excuse for the promises made during their relationships." It's so true. When you're in a relationship, you make so many promises, but how many of them have you actually kept?
About three months ago, I've gone through a really bad break up. Up until today, I'm not too sure how to deal with it. It sounds dumb, but I prayed myself to sleep every night, wishing that person will come back. A part of me knows that it won't come true. And even if it does, the essence of the relationship is gone. After the horrible break up, even if we were to get back together, how do you get over that awkwardness? How do you get over what your lover has done to you? Don't you just wish there was some time machine that you just can reverse time?
I'm sure there's a lot of others going through this or have gone through this? How do you find faith in love again? How did you deal with it and move on?
In front of family and friends, I act like nothing happen because I don't want them to worry. But honestly, I feel like I'm dead inside. The other day, I've met this guy. In normal circumstances, he would have been perfect. He has all the qualities I look for in a guy, but yet I can't seem to be attracted to him. I wonder when I will be normal again...
About three months ago, I've gone through a really bad break up. Up until today, I'm not too sure how to deal with it. It sounds dumb, but I prayed myself to sleep every night, wishing that person will come back. A part of me knows that it won't come true. And even if it does, the essence of the relationship is gone. After the horrible break up, even if we were to get back together, how do you get over that awkwardness? How do you get over what your lover has done to you? Don't you just wish there was some time machine that you just can reverse time?
I'm sure there's a lot of others going through this or have gone through this? How do you find faith in love again? How did you deal with it and move on?
In front of family and friends, I act like nothing happen because I don't want them to worry. But honestly, I feel like I'm dead inside. The other day, I've met this guy. In normal circumstances, he would have been perfect. He has all the qualities I look for in a guy, but yet I can't seem to be attracted to him. I wonder when I will be normal again...
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